I understand that God made who I am. I have adapted to my body, but it is disturbing to understand my drooling Drooling like a baby annoys me. You can think what you want, but I want to be honest with you. It is ok if I feel like this because I’m not dwelling on this. Like anyone else, I have a pity party and then move on because I realize God made me in His image.
I want to share what I found when I was researching my new book to help you understand what caused my drooling. Some people with Cerebral Palsy drool because brain damage affects the muscles and coordination needed to control saliva, leading to difficulty swallowing or poor mouth closure, causing saliva to overflow from the mouth or pool in the throat. It's usually a problem with control, not overproduction of saliva, stemming from weak tongue/lip muscles, poor posture, or reduced sensation, which impairs the normal swallowing reflex.
There are two types of drooling. Anterior Drooling: Saliva spills from the mouth, causing social embarrassment and skin irritation. And posterior drooling: Saliva pools in the throat, increasing the risk of choking or aspiration pneumonia (saliva entering the lungs).
I drool on EVERYTHING! I can't handle anything without my drool on it. I don't like to touch anything that is not mine. I would buy things than borrow things. I feel awful when I drool on people.
For some reason, I don’t feel I’m drooling until I feel it on my chin. It gets so awkward when people tell me to wipe my chin, but it helps me from acting like a baby. Dad used to get on me, and I told him I just couldn’t control it. No, my dad wasn’t mean. He always supported me and wanted me to do my best. He just wanted me to control my drooling. I know drooling is not what I want to see, so I understand why people don’t like it.
During the cold, my chin will get red and hurt. I prefer not to cover my face in cold weather, as it can result in moisture accumulation from drooling, which may cause my clothing to become damp. I use ChapStick when I think about it.
When I was in vocational rehab, my teacher suggested that wearing a wristband would help to wipe my chin. I love that idea and I have been wearing one ever since. I experimented with colored wristbands to coordinate with my outfits, but my chin would always get irritated whenever I wore them. Because of this, I now only use white wristbands.
There are medications to control drooling, but I want to see better than have a dry chin. I had tried medicine twice, and both times, I had blurred vision. From what I understand, the medication dries out all the saliva in your body, which leads to problems. It controlled my drooling, but I had trouble working on the computer and reading. It’s discouraging when my drool flows like a fountain, and I want to try another medicine, but I know it might irritate my eyes.
I get so embarrassed when I choke over my saliva. At home when I feel a cough, I have to give it my all to clean my throat. It sounds like I’m dying, but it is the only way I can get rid of it. If I can’t, I will cough for a while. When I try to hide my cough in public, it only gets worse. I keep a towel in my wheelchair when I’m in church. In church, when I felt a cough, I used to point at my parents’ pocket for Werther’s coffee candy. Now I’m keeping some in my church’s bag. I don’t know why that candy doesn’t scare me in my mouth like other hard candy does.
With CP, my lungs are weak too. I never had my lungs explained to me until I saw a doctor for a prescription for a talker. When he treated me as a normal person, I told Dad that I wanted to change doctors. The doctor wanted me to get a flu shot, but I said no. He explained how Cerebral Palsy people’s lungs are not strong enough to manage the flu. He even told me he would have to put me in the hospital if I got the flu or pneumonia. Right then, I will take any shot that is recommended. I don’t know why he scared me with my lungs, but it worked. When COVID shots came out, I couldn’t understand why disable people couldn’t get it with the seniors.
I really don’t protect myself. I know I should, but I love people too much. To me, germs are everywhere. I wore masks when it was requested. I try to touch nothing in the doctor’s office. I get my shots when they are due.
I got off of my subject, but I cough when things go down wrong. I normally manage my food ok. If I drink too fast, I will get strangled. What mortified me the most is my cough can just pop out. I have no warning!! It seems I can’t feel a cough coming on, and I don’t have time to cover my mouth. People have been washed by me.
Monday, March 16, 2026
Wednesday, March 11, 2026
Different Ways to Communicate
Mom said I have different sounds. She knew the difference between my laughing from my hurting. My parents used to know most things what I was saying but not all the time. With Mom, I used to air spell letters, and she wrote it down to see what I was saying.
If people are patient with me, I can talk on the phone. How? I don’t know, but my parents said that they could understand me over the phone better than in person. Few people let me use my talker to speak on the phone. Yes, it takes some time, but they are not bothered by it.
When I go to a doctor, I will type everything and print it out for them so it will go faster than having to explain things on the spot. I tend to feel anxious and worry about wasting time when I have to explain things spontaneously.
In elementary school, I used multiple communication methods. I can remember they had a machine that was the size of an iPhone. It was like a label maker because I printed what I said on tiny strip of paper. I had a touch talker. It was the size like a family Bible and weight that much. I could only speak one sentence. It had a keyguard so I could press one button at a time. It had a cool layout. It had the alphabet like a keyboard, and it had pictures on the layout that had words programmed in it. For example, I can hit HOME + verb = "home". Or HOME + NOUR = "house". I could programmed phases. For example, NAME + NAME + NAME = "Hi. My name is Carol Hocutt. It is nice to meet you".
In high school, I received a Liberator with a keyguard, which was an upgrade from touch talker. It still like a family Bible and weighted the same. Both machines were difficult to carry since they weighed 10 pounds, but being able to communicate was valuable.
In 2008, I got my Pathfinder machine with a keyguard. To me, it was the best machine. It was lighter in weight compared to the Liberator. It was similar to a laptop. The screen was in LED, which was helpful to read. I could turn it on and off quickly.
Once, we were going somewhere, and we put the Pathfinder on the floor beside me because I used it all the time. I was grabbing my cup and dropped it. Before I knew it, tea went everywhere on my talker. We couldn’t fix it with the company help, so Dad had to ship it to them. They got everything working and clean. I was so upset because I had to do without it, and plus I had a party for my Voc Rehab’ friend without my talker.
My Pathfinder gave out in 2014 and I was devastated! The LED was so dim I couldn't see the screen. It seemed it was my right hand for everything. I talked more to people, taught Sunday School, spoke at the nursing home and gave my speeches on it.
Then my last two machines were Accent 1000 without a keyguard. They are the size of an IPad. I liked my first Accent 1000, but I missed my Pathfinder due to a few issues. The device featured a dedicated screen displaying icons and a separate screen for the keyboard. It got me typing much slower. With my other talkers, I could hit two keys, it went to keyboard automatic. It got confusing until I learned to go to a different screen. The icons and keyboard were so small that I accidentally pressed two buttons at the same time. I finally found a way to make the keyboard larger, and that helped me some, but I still needed a keyguard to feel comfortable talking with others. I emailed SC consultant from Prentke Romich Company (PRC), and she finally found a keyguard. It was a lifesaver. My other problem was that my talker freezes up while I was using it. PRC didn’t understand it, so we had to ship it to be testing. Of course, nothing was wrong. After a while I noticed when I drooled on it, it would freeze. I still got upset, but I tried to tell people to hold on until I reboot it. When people didn’t seem interested, I didn’t try to write it again. When I used to go and speak, I would tell them I would raise my hand if it froze and give me a minute to start back.
In 2020, I was qualified to get another talker, and I was over the hill. But PRC didn’t have a new machine, I had to get another Accent 1000. Although this machine is relatively satisfactory in its performance, it currently remains stored in my closet. I have fewer people to talk to now, so I express myself by typing on my phone. If I use my Accent 1000, I have to spell more because I can’t think fast to remember all of the icons like I used too. I’m faster on my phone than with my talker now. I know, it sad how I don’t practice on Accent, but I can’t talk to myself. Besides, my phone is always with me.
When I got email, it opened my communication to a world where I could talk to people. It felt so wonderful to have conversation with my friends and express myself.
When texting and iPhone came out, I was ecstatic. Texting is my source to reach people. I can check on people. When we were going to the nursing home each month, a girl and I sat beside each other in the truck, and we texted. That was the only way she could understand me. That helped me because I have been texting people that are near me to tell them something. Yes, it is rude, but texting is my voice. I use iPhone notes mostly to communicate. I can have a note ready, or I can type when they are talking to me.
If people are patient with me, I can talk on the phone. How? I don’t know, but my parents said that they could understand me over the phone better than in person. Few people let me use my talker to speak on the phone. Yes, it takes some time, but they are not bothered by it.
When I go to a doctor, I will type everything and print it out for them so it will go faster than having to explain things on the spot. I tend to feel anxious and worry about wasting time when I have to explain things spontaneously.
In elementary school, I used multiple communication methods. I can remember they had a machine that was the size of an iPhone. It was like a label maker because I printed what I said on tiny strip of paper. I had a touch talker. It was the size like a family Bible and weight that much. I could only speak one sentence. It had a keyguard so I could press one button at a time. It had a cool layout. It had the alphabet like a keyboard, and it had pictures on the layout that had words programmed in it. For example, I can hit HOME + verb = "home". Or HOME + NOUR = "house". I could programmed phases. For example, NAME + NAME + NAME = "Hi. My name is Carol Hocutt. It is nice to meet you".
In high school, I received a Liberator with a keyguard, which was an upgrade from touch talker. It still like a family Bible and weighted the same. Both machines were difficult to carry since they weighed 10 pounds, but being able to communicate was valuable.
In 2008, I got my Pathfinder machine with a keyguard. To me, it was the best machine. It was lighter in weight compared to the Liberator. It was similar to a laptop. The screen was in LED, which was helpful to read. I could turn it on and off quickly.
Once, we were going somewhere, and we put the Pathfinder on the floor beside me because I used it all the time. I was grabbing my cup and dropped it. Before I knew it, tea went everywhere on my talker. We couldn’t fix it with the company help, so Dad had to ship it to them. They got everything working and clean. I was so upset because I had to do without it, and plus I had a party for my Voc Rehab’ friend without my talker.
My Pathfinder gave out in 2014 and I was devastated! The LED was so dim I couldn't see the screen. It seemed it was my right hand for everything. I talked more to people, taught Sunday School, spoke at the nursing home and gave my speeches on it.
Then my last two machines were Accent 1000 without a keyguard. They are the size of an IPad. I liked my first Accent 1000, but I missed my Pathfinder due to a few issues. The device featured a dedicated screen displaying icons and a separate screen for the keyboard. It got me typing much slower. With my other talkers, I could hit two keys, it went to keyboard automatic. It got confusing until I learned to go to a different screen. The icons and keyboard were so small that I accidentally pressed two buttons at the same time. I finally found a way to make the keyboard larger, and that helped me some, but I still needed a keyguard to feel comfortable talking with others. I emailed SC consultant from Prentke Romich Company (PRC), and she finally found a keyguard. It was a lifesaver. My other problem was that my talker freezes up while I was using it. PRC didn’t understand it, so we had to ship it to be testing. Of course, nothing was wrong. After a while I noticed when I drooled on it, it would freeze. I still got upset, but I tried to tell people to hold on until I reboot it. When people didn’t seem interested, I didn’t try to write it again. When I used to go and speak, I would tell them I would raise my hand if it froze and give me a minute to start back.
In 2020, I was qualified to get another talker, and I was over the hill. But PRC didn’t have a new machine, I had to get another Accent 1000. Although this machine is relatively satisfactory in its performance, it currently remains stored in my closet. I have fewer people to talk to now, so I express myself by typing on my phone. If I use my Accent 1000, I have to spell more because I can’t think fast to remember all of the icons like I used too. I’m faster on my phone than with my talker now. I know, it sad how I don’t practice on Accent, but I can’t talk to myself. Besides, my phone is always with me.
When I got email, it opened my communication to a world where I could talk to people. It felt so wonderful to have conversation with my friends and express myself.
When texting and iPhone came out, I was ecstatic. Texting is my source to reach people. I can check on people. When we were going to the nursing home each month, a girl and I sat beside each other in the truck, and we texted. That was the only way she could understand me. That helped me because I have been texting people that are near me to tell them something. Yes, it is rude, but texting is my voice. I use iPhone notes mostly to communicate. I can have a note ready, or I can type when they are talking to me.
Tuesday, March 10, 2026
Not having a physical voice
Not having a physical voice can be a blessing, since I often wish to express my thoughts immediately. If I spoke openly, I'd likely have enemies because I'm honest. When I'm writing what I want to say, I have time to think about my words than letting the words flow out of my mouth.
Let me share why my voice has been affected by CP. Not everybody with CP has voice issues. Here's why some of voices are impact CP. CP prevents speech primarily due to dysarthria, a motor speech disorder from brain damage affecting muscles for breathing, voice, and mouth control (lips, tongue, vocal cords), making speech slurred, slow, or impossible; also, some individuals have co-occurring language disorders like apraxia (difficulty forming sounds) or cognitive issues, and hearing loss can also play a role, all stemming from the initial brain injury affecting motor planning and control.
Like I said, communication is hard for me, but people will try to work with me until I get my point across. People are surprised when they can understand me when they stay around me for a while. It amazed me when they said, “I can understand you!"
Yes, I get upset, and I don’t like people to see me like that. It is very hard to control myself when I have said something ten times in my mind, but it won’t come out right. If people don’t understand me, and I need help, I’ll let my body language speak. I will try to point out what I’m saying or grab people to take them to show them what I’m trying to say. If I see somebody needs, I yell and point.
Mom said I have different sounds. She knew the difference between laughing from hurting. My parents used to know most things what I was saying but not all the time. With Mom, I used to air spell letters, and she wrote it down to see what I was saying. My parents said that they could understand me over the phone better than in person.
When I go to a doctor, I will type everything and print it out for them so it will go faster than having to explain things on the spot. I tend to feel anxious and worry about wasting time when I have to explain things spontaneously.
Let me share why my voice has been affected by CP. Not everybody with CP has voice issues. Here's why some of voices are impact CP. CP prevents speech primarily due to dysarthria, a motor speech disorder from brain damage affecting muscles for breathing, voice, and mouth control (lips, tongue, vocal cords), making speech slurred, slow, or impossible; also, some individuals have co-occurring language disorders like apraxia (difficulty forming sounds) or cognitive issues, and hearing loss can also play a role, all stemming from the initial brain injury affecting motor planning and control.
Like I said, communication is hard for me, but people will try to work with me until I get my point across. People are surprised when they can understand me when they stay around me for a while. It amazed me when they said, “I can understand you!"
Yes, I get upset, and I don’t like people to see me like that. It is very hard to control myself when I have said something ten times in my mind, but it won’t come out right. If people don’t understand me, and I need help, I’ll let my body language speak. I will try to point out what I’m saying or grab people to take them to show them what I’m trying to say. If I see somebody needs, I yell and point.
Mom said I have different sounds. She knew the difference between laughing from hurting. My parents used to know most things what I was saying but not all the time. With Mom, I used to air spell letters, and she wrote it down to see what I was saying. My parents said that they could understand me over the phone better than in person.
When I go to a doctor, I will type everything and print it out for them so it will go faster than having to explain things on the spot. I tend to feel anxious and worry about wasting time when I have to explain things spontaneously.
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