My Independent

      I'm very independent or some will say hardheaded. My parents always encouraged me to try anything on my own if it was reasonable.
     At home, I crawl on my knees. I only use my wheelchair when I’m outside or in public. I can do more things on my knees. People can’t believe I can crawl on my knees, but I’m used to it. My knees hurt, and I will tumble, but I’m happy on my knees. When I’m on my knees, I feel more freedom. I can do anything by myself. I make my bed, brush my teeth, dress myself, do housework, work on the computer, design pictures, take a shower and cook in the microwave. The microwave has been down low for me since I learned how to work it. It will take time, but I can try to do everything by myself. I’m unsure about a few things that I won’t attempt, like the stove and driving. People tell me that I can drive, and I wish badly that I could, but I don’t trust my body. I know there are things to help me drive, but what happens if my arms lock up or I hammer the gas? Or what happens if I need to stop instantly, but my body does the opposite, and I kill someone or myself? That is way too risky!!!!! Yes, I can drive my wheelchair and a golf cart, but I stayed far from the edge. Dad always let me drive the golf cart when he was playing golf or looking for golf balls. If we saw nobody on the hole, he told me to ride the fairway. It felt relaxing.
     I don't wear kneepads because I drag my knees and pads won't stay on my knees. It felt like I was wasting time if I wanted to get somewhere than try to get the kneepad back on right. Yes, my knees hurt if I’m on them too much.
     Yes, I push myself, but I don’t want to feel depressed. I know I have God, and He gives me the strength to keep going. I will stop working by 7:00 p.m. to relax. I’ll text my two aunts, and then I will watch tv.
      I have been trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together for a few years. Half of the time I want to give up, but that will mean I failed, and we brought a puzzle and a table for nothing. I really want to finish and hang it up for Mom’s sake. No, I won’t allow anybody to help because with my hands, if I mess it up, I can deal with it better than messing up somebody else work. Mom respected me, but she loved to touch a piece so I would tell her no. She used to help me when I told her to move some pieces for me.